Businessman explaining why he has two wives: Monopolynis always damaging. Competition improves services!"

Patient to novice surgeon Munnabhai: "Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kiske liye?" M: "Bole toh ye apunka pehla operation hai. Success hua to mere liye, nahi to tere liye."

Hubby: "Darling, years ago you had a figure like a Coke bottle." Wife: "I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300 ml, now it's 1.5 ltr."

Shila: "How come your hubby always comes home on time?" Nila: "Simple. I have made a rule for him. SEX will be at 9 pm sharp, whether you are here or not!" 

   Q.   Who is the first Indian woman to fly abroad? A. Sita with Ravan.

Q. What do you call a bull that's sleeping? A.  A bulldozer.

Women are like internet virus. They ENTER your life, SCAN your pockets, EDIT your mind, DOWNLOAD their problems, DELETE your smile, and HANG you forever!

TT asks sadhu: "Kaha jana hai?" Sadhu: "Jaha Ram ka janam hua." TT: "Ticket hai?" S. "Nahi." TT: "To fir chalo." S. "Kaha?" TT: "Jaha Krishna ka janam hua!"

After a fight, a couple goes to bed. Husband: "Goodnight, mother of three sons!"  Wife: "Goodnight...father of none!"

Another couple also had a spat. Wife then prayed: "Oh God, if my husband is wrong, let him die. If I am wrong, make me a widow." !!

Salesman procured following orders: get out! stay out! and --Don't come back!

Jilted lover's last SMS: "If u dont like me, don't like my SMS, feel free to smash your cellphone." !!

# stages in married woman's life: First, she is chandramukhi, then suryamukhi, and finally jwalamukhi.

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